As I wrote in a recent article, we create expectations for our lives, of others, of events, that often do not match our actual experiences. It is human nature. But the result is that we spend most of our time in the gap. Sometimes, the gap is so wide it creates a shift in our entire life vision. Or, it should. At times we may continue holding too tight to that original expectation. It dawned on me that if you don’t let go, you can end up spending a life time in that one gap.

On your wedding day, you have an expectation for a future that includes your spouse. If the marriage ends, you must recalibrate that expectation or forever live in disappointment that it failed. Bake in some resentment as you blame your ex-spouse and that’s a recipe for a bitter life.

Or, you start a new great job and create an expectation of moving up through the ranks, staying there for years and enjoying a happy retirement only to get stuck in cube-land or get that pink slip just a few years in. You must let to go of the dream, create a new vision. Begin a new journey.

Maybe you had a big vision for your business and it hasn’t gotten where you thought it would get. Maybe you didn’t make it. Was the issue your goal or was it in the execution? Focus on the opportunity to learn rather than beating yourself up in the gap and then move on.

Are you stuck in a gap created years ago where resentments or disappointments overshadow your new adventure? Are you still spending time wishing things had gone differently?

Well…..they didn’t. Things are what they are. You have the power to create the new next big vision. Start your journey fresh. Re-calibrate that old expectation or just let it go. Take the positive life lessons with you and leave the rest. Or, find a way to make the old vision happen with a new set of players. What can you do differently this time?

Life is a great, adventurous journey. Don’t travel it bogged down with so much baggage. Pack light and enjoy the ride!